I admit it!
I am so fed up with people constantly asking me why I’m still not married. What seems to get on my nerves the most is that almost every time I go to get my eyebrows done, I hear the same question from the same people. And my answer is always the same. This time was a bit different…but as usual I waited for my appointment. As I was waiting, I was pacing up and down the salon…One of the ladies doing her hair was being loud about her story to the other lady sitting next to her. Marriage? what else interests the majority of Arab women! I started to walk back to the couch. One of the ladies getting their hair done looks at me and asks: “your hair looks long, can you let it loose? I love long hair!” I said: “Your hair is probably longer than mine. Plus I have not washed my hair in 3 days! are you sure you want to see it?” “yeah,” she said. I took the hair tie out and let it down! “wow! it’s loong!” she said. She then started talking to me about different things, her life, her husband, and how long she’s been married. Like I really needed to know that! then here come the questions: “So how old are you?” she asked. “28,” I said. “Are you married?” “No I am not.” “yeee, tab laish, shoo fee? ( but why? what’s wrong?),” she asked! I smiled and didn’t say anything. I was being exremely nice actually…I mean such question would have prompted a much worst response from me. Not to mention the eyerolling to seal it! I so do not have to explain myself to a stranger! especially when the question is posed in such a derogatory way!
By then I was called by the lady I had an appointment with. As she was doing my eyebrows, 2 other ladies working at the salon gathered around and were watching. I’ve never said more than hi to these two ladies before…Actually, one of them did a blow dry for me before and was intimidated because she was told that I am very picky so she should be extra careful! She didn’t say much to me that day. Anyway, they started asking me questions. If I have a degree? What I do for a living? If I live in the area? If I am married? How old I am? When I said: “I am 28″ their eyes popped open in disbelief. ”OH MY GOD. You so don’t look 28! And why are you still single?” The lady doing my eyebrows says to one of the other ladies: “Tell her about your brother-in-law, he’s looking!” The lady says to me: “yeah, what do you think?” I said, “Tell me more about him.” It is a very small world out there. As soon as she said his name, I asked: “Is his last name ____?” “YES,” she said all excited! “ahaa!” I smiled. Well, I was thinking to myself, only if he wasn’t such a loser, maybe I would consider him! You see, the pool we are presented with to choose from is extremely polluted!
UGH! Seriously. So why am I still single? Who wouldn’t want to have someone special to share their life with? Someone who will be able to offer unconditional support? Someone who will always be there no matter what? A home? kids? Everytime this question is asked of me, I have to take a step back and evaluate myself! is there really something wrong with me? a question that I don’t ponder for more than a second because deep down I don’t believe there is anything wrong with me. Am I really picky - as my mother tells me? (though she’s away, I still hear it from her when I call her with updates on my ‘prospects’…) I don’t think I am that picky! I have standards - realistic ones - and I am not willing to settle for anything less than what I want just so I can be married!
So for all those very concerned about my status, if you don’t have a total package for me then mind your own business! how aggravating!
someday, sometime, you will be somewhere, maybe on a day like today–a berm overlooking a pond in Vermont, the lip of the Grand Canyon at sunset. Maybe something bad will have happened: you will have lost someone you loved, or failed at something at which you badly wanted to succeed. And sitting there, you will fall into the center of yourself. You will look for some core to sustain you. And if you have been perfect all your life and have managed to meet all the expectations of your family, your friends, your community, your society, chances are excellent that there will be a black hole where that core ought to be.
This picture was taken last May at Zatara checkpoint - Nablus. They could not be older than 22…they walked up to the car I was riding…one of them looking angry was yelling in hebrew…the other two were talking back to him in hebrew and the only words I understood were ’save the children’ …they approached my side, I rolled down the window and just looked at them..the same soldier who was yelling earlier said a few hebrew words followed by ’save the children’…I asked: excuse me? he said in good English: you save the childern? I said: yes, that’s the aim…he said: do you wanna save me?? so I can go back to my girlfriend?? I said: where is your girlfriend? he said - with what was meant to be a sad puppy look: hoome! I asked: and where is home?? He paused for a few seconds and with a confused tone said: ummm, I don’t know…I said: you mean this isn’t home?? he didn’t say anything! I asked if I can take a picture of them …all three said sure and posed for the camera with big smiles on their faces… I wondered, do they even know what they’re doing!?!?
