Getting it right…
I’m not really THAT deep, but every single day I tend to reflect about life in general and my life in particular…and as each year winds down, I find myself subconsciously taking a long look back at how my year went from all aspects whether be it professionally or personally. What ifs, only ifs, Whys, Hows, should haves, could haves, would haves tend to all be so pointless…afterall, there are things, pasts, memories that we cannot change or undo no matter how hard we try…nonetheless, I cannot help but wonder how my life would be had X went the direction I wanted it to go…or where I would be now if Y was achieved…or why such and such happened, and how I could have prevented them from happening, or how I could’ve made them actually happen…
It so happens that the beginning of a new year closely coincides with me turning a year older…and, honestly, it’s a bit depressing! Especially when I look back at what I had set myself to achieve in the past years and find that I haven’t gotten even close to achieving some of what I considered very important…time is running out and years as they come seem to only get more complicated than those that passed!
What’s frustrating is that there are just somethings that I can’t seem to get right…There must be something that I’m doing wrong, but what’s even more frustrating is that I cannot figure it out! and the more I think about it, the more frustrated I get. Right now the mere thought of just thinking is torture…
The bright side to all this: A new year. A new beginning.
The reality of it: Yeah. Whatever.
