Pointless.

December 27, 2006 | Category: Random thoughts, Uncategorized

Do you ever get past the pain you go through? When you give all you can and you can’t understand why a dream won’t come true? Leann Rimes (a desirable voice!) asks in her “All the Lovin’ and the Hurtin…’ then she goes on to say, it’s a one sided romance you can’t undo…and I must say, one-sided romance is the most pitiful thing anyone can allow themselves to engage in! I can understand being infatuated with someone, liking someone, even fantasizing about someone… and I can understand completely and madly loving an idea, a word, a book, a thought, an author, chocolate, shoes, your pet, but being completely in love with someone who doesn’t share those same or even similar feelings is way beyond me! loving a man/woman who doesn’t acknowledge your existence is really sad! and despite some disagreeing with me on this (and some have.), I strongly believe it’s wasted time, wasted energy and complete emotional drainage!

It’s pointless!

20 Comments

Mazz
on December 28th, 2006
1
couldn’t agree more. but it’s human nature to deceive yourself! the important thing is that you realize that before it’s too late and your in too deep.
in any case, i take a chill pill and move on!
Dima
on December 28th, 2006
2
Those are feelings… sometimes it’s hard to control feelings or to stop them… don’t you think so?
Iman
on December 28th, 2006
3
Hi Mazz, Yeah, that’s right.

Dima, I’m sure it’s hard, but I firmly believe that we can control them and even stop them…loving a man who doesn’t share any of what I feel for him is useless, pointless, senseless…why invest so much emotions on/in someone who doesn’t… care?!
Qwaider قويدر
on December 28th, 2006
4
I think it’s pointless too. Many people become desperately upset and sad about someone when there are really plenty of fish in the ocean. I don’t understand why people don’t just turn the page, and find someone else!
Mazz
on December 28th, 2006
5
@Qwaider : cause we’re human, and it’s human nature to be hard headed and presistant. in the end it really depends on how much you want it. the more you do, the worse it gets.
but hey, like you said, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. but that’s besides the point at that time :)
Nimer
on December 28th, 2006
6
Well, it’s been said above, - it’s human nature to have such feelings, and to fall into such a trap. The problem usually happens as we limit our vision to only see that individual, while there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Time heals all such afflictions, and what helps is simply to engage with others, and without realising it, the individual moves onto finding happiness elsewhere.

Strangely, what we miss, is realising that people always move onto greener pastures from such hopeless experiences.
Averroes
on December 28th, 2006
7
How can we approach this delicately…Human emotions is a process of chemical reactions, the mind and heart sometimes become numb, with the thought of a certain person, not obsession, but its the natural human..or even animal need for companionship..children learn not to touch fire once they get their fingers burnt..they will never do it again…the same applies with the heart..you “learn” to become in love with someone, slowly..and with each passing day that love grows..now in many cases the feeling is not mutual..which brings us back to the point we’re discussing..but the moral of this here story is that you can never stop you’re heart from falling in love..even if the person you love doesn’t share your feelings, its your heart’s way of weighing out potential companions..sometimes..like a young child..which is not very far from how someone becomes when they’re in love..you do touch the flame..and you do get burned..but you will never be able to help it..we’re humans..we will always seek out companionship..until we find it.
hatem abunimeh
on December 28th, 2006
8
In some instances pain serves as an impetus, as a motivator to incur more pain. I think that human being thrives on pain, have you not heard of the saying: No pain no gain!In the back of our mind there is that tiny voice that tells us to keep going although we are in so much pain, and credit to our platitude we listen to the voice and we keep going inspite of our riveting pain and suffering.
Ola
on December 28th, 2006
9
I agree with you Iman, on everythign but the last 2 lines. It’s not pointless, those feelings you have, however painful, are YOURS… they are good for you. If someone doesn’t choose to acknowledge you it’s his problem. I’m not sayogn it’s his fault, it’s nobody’s fault, no one can force anyone to love them…

I might get upset, jealous and stuff, but I never let anyone turn mylife into living hell… now I better shut up before start cussing out :D
Iman
on December 28th, 2006
10
Nimer, you’re right!

–

you can never stop you’re heart from falling in love..even if the person you love doesn’t share your feelings, its your heart’s way of weighing out potential companions

Yes you can! especially if the person you ‘love’ doesn’t share those feelings.’ What’s the point of a one-sided love? aside from self-inflicted pain that could logically be avoided!?

..sometimes..like a young child..which is not very far from how someone becomes when they’re in love..you do touch the flame..and you do get burned..but you will never be able to help it..we’re humans..we will always seek out companionship..until we find it.

I’m talking about loving someone…how many times can we possibly be in love with someone before we find that ‘companionship’ you’re talking about? Those who invest time, energy and emotions in someone who doesn’t reciprocate same or similar feelings are lost and royally earn any misery and bitterness they have in their lives!

Hatem, to keep going in this particular situation is useless… and simply because one-sided love doesn’t make sense! at least, I cannot make sense of it!

It’s not pointless, those feelings you have, however painful, are YOURS… they are good for you. If someone doesn’t choose to acknowledge you it’s his problem. I’m not sayogn it’s his fault, it’s nobody’s fault, no one can force anyone to love them…

They are pointless…they don’t make sense if they are not shared! If I’m ever in such situation where I find myself liking someone strongly to the point of it possibly transforming into love, but he happens to not feel the same way about me (and you’re absolutely right, no one can force anyone to love them..)then I will most definitely control those feelings…and since they are my feelings, I control them! (with the will of Allah of course :d)

I might get upset, jealous and stuff, but I never let anyone turn mylife into living hell… now I better shut up before start cussing out :D

LOL..tayyib that’s why you should learn to control your feelings if they are invested in someone who doesn’t care :P
Devil's Mind
on December 29th, 2006
11
I would say, the purest kind of love, is the one-side love. And it is enjoyable! In fact, I think all love is one-sided. I once read a quote that says: “Reciprocated love is when two people are lucky to have one-sided love for one another.”

I don’t see how someone would love another only when some condition applies, even if that condition is to be loved back!
Iman
on December 29th, 2006
12
What’s the point of loving someone (I am talking about the type of love between a man and a woman) if they don’t love you back?!

When a feeling is reciprocated, it ceseas remaining one-sided
Devil's Mind
on December 30th, 2006
13
Maybe admiring their personality?! Appreciating their style?! Feeling good about there mere fact of their existence?! Even maybe, Learning from them?! A lot of things I guess! But sure this remains solely my personal conviction.

“When a feeling is reciprocated, it ceseas remaining one-sided” - Do you really think so?! I guess it does! Love is a selfish feeling like all other feelings known to mankind!
Devil's Mind
on December 30th, 2006
14
When a feeling is reciprocated, it ceseas remaining one-sided” - Do you really think so?! I guess it does!*

I mean, it does remain one-sided if that wasn’t obvious in the context…
Iman
on December 31st, 2006
15
I can admire their personality, appreciate their style without ‘wasting’ time loving them…feel good about their existence in what sense? a love they don’t appreciate by sharing with you that same feeling is…again, pointless…I can’t describe it otherwise
CobainFreaK
on January 11th, 2007
16
yeah i agree but i dont agree with …

Dima

12.28.06 @ 12:28 am

Those are feelings… sometimes it’s hard to control feelings or to stop them… don’t you think so?

any1 can control thier feelings
ppl need to understand that u could fall in love with anyone when u keep lsnin to those arab singers and songs while thinking about that someone u love…

u can control ur feelings when u keep thinking that that someone is not ur one….
and try to get busy coz all of u lovers out there just love because ur just bored and need somthn fun

i just dont know how ppl love when they are still in uni dont have a degree , a job , or a balanced life too

its pointless and pathatic
ranita
on January 13th, 2007
17
heres the thing, i dont think there is such thing as “one-sided LOVE”…. love take 2 pple in order to be true and real…. otherwise its just a stupid crush or ur imagination… its not love! how can you “love” someone who doesnt even know that u exist!
lkjsdf
on January 14th, 2007
18
When you don’t get what you want, do you give up, or do you try harder? :)
Iman
on January 15th, 2007
19
lkjsdf, I’d give it my best to start with…if there is no ‘positive’ reaction from the other side, then I will not waste more time and I’ll simply move on!
AH
on June 26th, 2007
20
I stumbled on this blog “Pointless” while searching for related material to read..and maybe have some questions answered, or maybe not..
However, a one-sided romance, as described by the author of the blog “being completely in love with another person without them reciprocating that love” made me think of the many other scenarios and romantic situations that can seem as pointless as described. I keep linking this to how much of life is wasted with pointless romantic situations that will not lead in the end to being together, yet we allow them in sometimes, and we live through the pain. Maybe the real “pointful” feeling we really want out of being completely into something is just that; the feeling. It serves as an internal strength and an everlasting fire that warms the inside and keeps us going. Reciprocating would be greater, nonetheless, we are doing it for us and we are choosing the point we need fulfilled, that is our internal satisfaction.