You know how it goes…we desire anything and everything that we cannot have…or have much of for that matter..Despite knowing very well that I cannot do so,  I still love the idea of sleeping in on weekdays.I really wanna try it one day…very soon! For the past month or so now, my alarm clock moved from 5:15 am to 5:06 am…that one extra minute is supposed to make me feel better! but it really doesn’t!
I’m sort of working extra hard to ensure that all the deadlines are met …otherwise, I will have some explaining to do …and I honestly don’t wanna have to do that…which explains why I’ve been up late lately!

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Looking at my nails right now is really disturbing…they look horrible…I desperately need a manicure..and a facial…and a massage…and a pair of shoes!

I love dabkeh…It’s an awesome dance that - I admit - I rock at … One thing I wish we had here in Chicago is an authentic ‘Middle Eastern’ hang out spot… All Arab related spots attract the losers in our community! I would love to be able to go to a decent restaurant or club and enjoy an evening comprised of a bit of oud, flute, a bit of tableh and dabkeh… In the meantime, these guys (notice the first comment for this video and this girl (hahah..this is outside some local restaurant!) inspired me to hold my own personal dabkeh evenings at my own place…
Searching YouTube, I came across some (I love this!) really (I like the song and words more than the actual dabkeh moves. Our dear hamsawees and fatahwees need to be listening to this just right about now..maybe it’ll knock some sense in their little selfish minds!) good ones and some really hahahah…what the hell are they doing?? ) hilarious ones..(and what the hell is he doing!? hahaha..but I like the song! it got me in the mood for a night of tarab and a cigarette!)
and though I kind of Really liked this, I’m no so sure about mixing bellydancing with dabkeh!

(P.S. I hate Mondays!

Walking out the house this morning with one of my favorite high-heel boots, I felt something strange happen…My heel broke! That really sucks! I’m not so sure it’s worth fixing, but I’ll give it a shot anyway!

Lesson of the day:

Don’t get overly attached to any item, any place, or any person in your life…because there may come a day in which you may lose them!

TGIF!

The real treasure, that which we all seek, is never very far; there is no real need to seek it in a distant place, for it lies buried within our hearts. And yet, there is this strange and persistent fact, that it is only after a journey…in a distant region, in a new land, that the way to that treasure becomes clear.
~Heinrich Zimmer

is happening in Palestine???
Palestinian gunmen ambushed a Hamas commander outside a Gaza courthouse Wednesday, forcing him to his knees and killing him gangland-style in an attack that threatened to push Hamas and Fatah closer to civil war.[more]

“…As for the question of whether humans are predestined to enter Paradise or Hell, we must remember that Allah transcends the limits of time. He is All-Knowing of the past, present and future. Thus He knows in advance which path — good or evil — each individual will choose and what will be his or her final destination — Paradise or Hell. But such knowledge does not mean that He makes each person choose a certain path.“

Isn’t this a contradiction? How does He not make each person choose a certain path? After all, everything is pre-destined and everything is within Allah’s will (which I deeply believe in), for when He created everyone and everything He determined when each would come into this life, the qualities, wealth and nature of each and when each would depart. Also, everything in the universe - whether we’re able to see it or not - is completely subject to the overriding power of Allah…ultimately, nothing what-so-ever can happen outside His will!

I agree with the fact that we cannot know our future and, to a large extent, we cannot control it…and I also agree that we can make decisions within the limits of what we can control, based on our understanding of the way the world works…so I don’t sit idle and expect things to come to me…I have to actually work towards what it is I want to achieve, perhaps exhaust all possibilites to make it happen..but ultimately, if Allah doesn’t want it to happen, then it will not no matter how hard I try. So basically, my free will isn’t so free, for there is a greater will that controls it - and that is Allah’s will.

And even if sincere prayers do change the course of how things unfold in our lives, that too is pre-determined. I mean, how do I guarantee that my prayers are sincere? I’ve sincerely prayed for many things, and almost none of which have been answered. Maybe my understanding of sincere isn’t clear? Or perhaps none of which actually happening is Allah’s way of answering my prayers… Who knows best but Allah!

And believing (?) such makes my experiences, past and days in general a lot more bearable! But that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m confused…confused about my existence, my purpose, events unfolding or lack of…about my life in general..

(I was starting to talk about this with a friend, but I had to go and when I called back SEVERAL times, he chose not to answer…I was going to leave it in a voicemail …but I bet I was destined to write it instead!)

losing
all I can see.
nothing remains.

dripping slowly away
the tides recede
and I stand
alone.

I look down from the precipice
that is my life
and wonder where the tides go.
will they return to fill
my gaping soul?

or will the waters dry
to flow no more
and leave me standing
and breathless?

all I can do is
wait.

watching from my precipice,
all I can do is wonder.

Not written by me, but I identify with every letter of every word!

How do you know that the person you’re talking to doesn’t pay attention to half of what you’re talking about?

a) Answers ‘aha’ to ‘How was your day?’

b) They respond to ‘No, I can’t…I’m still at work’ with ‘when did you leave work, you think you’ll make it?’

c) If on the phone, you let them know that they’ll have ‘to excuse’ you while you ‘take them with to the restroom’…you do what you gotta do, flush the toilet, wash and dry your hands (all while on the phone)…without them making any type of reference that you just did that!

d) They respond to ‘Okay then, let’s rent a movie and order pizza’ with ‘when you find out what you want to do, give me a call, yeah?’

My alarm clock is set to 5:06 a.m. but for some odd reason, I woke up at 4 a.m this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I started getting ready for work, turned the news on and heard the horrible news out of Gaza, Palestine. Not a good way to start the morning off, but that’s the brutal reality of what’s out there these days…

I was craving vanilla chai and a toasted whole wheat bagel from Dunkin Donuts, so on the way to work we stopped by and got some. I am trying to watch what I eat, since I believe I’ve put on some weight this past month…which really sucks and kinda goes against the goal I had set for myself earlier… but I still have sometime to achieve it…that’s why I asked for light cream cheese…but those at Dunkin Donuts don’t really speak English too well, and that really frustrates me. If you want to work in Customer Service in a country where English is the primary language, please learn to speak first! That’s the least that one can do, no!?

So what do I find in my bag?? Regular cream cheese, no napkins! ugh! I hate that…what an annoying way to start the morning!
to top it off…I get to work, get out of the car, as I’m crossing the street I realize that I left my chai in the car…I was too lazy to go back for it…I can taste it now! I might stop by on the way out to lunch and grab it. I’m sure it’s very cold now, but it’ll taste good! hopefully the parking attendant didn’t decide to take a sip out of it… Ok, I’m grossed out now…I’ll just buy a new one! Or never mind.. I don’t want any anymore!
I love Mondays!

Add three more Palestinian childern to those who have been killed to atrocious fire in Palestine so far…this is very different though, and hurts even more…Osama, 10, Ahmad, 6, and salam, 3 years old - brothers and the sons of Baha Balousheh, a senior Palestinian intelligence officer (Fatah) - have been killed in a drive-by shooting in a street crowded with schoolchildren in Gaza earlier today…and by whom? By their own flesh and blood…by Palestinian gunmen! I’m very disappointed, very appalled, very disgusted with the latest out of Palestine! Have we forgotten who our real enemy is? Have we forgotten that our best interest should be and is Palestine and the Palestinians? The latest out of Gaza targetting children is surely unprecedented…

As the shots rang out, children dropped to the ground or fled screaming.

“I was walking with my young brother, Wael, who is 9, and we just crossed the street in order to take him to the school when shooting took place,” said 12-year-old Fadwa Nabulsi, still shaken by the bloody scene.

“We saw fire coming from one car. We started screaming and children started running. I was crying, and I lost Wael for about half an hour. Then I found him hiding in a felafel shop. I’m trying to find my father to take us back home,” she said.

Isn’t it enough that our children live the daily horrors of the israeli occupation? Must they experience it from their own people as well?

“This incident is one of the most serious and furious incidents to have taken place in the last year in the Gaza Strip in a sign of the prevalent instability, internal strife and dangerous lawlessness.” [source]

In the meantime, Hamas claims they are exercising self control and it is Fateh who add tension, and is blaming Abbas for failure of the unity govenment talks and urge him to resign.

It’s sad. Children losing their lives to our lack of unity when we need it most, our greed, our selfishness, our hunger for power…Will a day ever come when Palestinian children can enjoy a childhood free of chaos and bloodshed!
Rest in peace Osama, Ahmad and Islam.

This is a serious question…Please take a few seconds and vote for the name you consider the nicest of the three below. This will save me a lot of headaches. Thanks!

“Each person has inside a basic decency and goodness. If he listens to it and acts on it, he is giving a great deal of what it is the world needs most. It is not complicated but it takes courage. It takes courage for a person to listen to his own goodness and act on it.” – Pablo Casals.

Student: Master, how is goodness to be achieved?

Master: To those who offer you goodness, return goodness. To those who offer you evil, also return goodness. Thus, goodness is achieved.

I guess this could be considered one way of spreading the influence of your goodness!